Top 10 Marriage Firsts Every Newlywed Experiences #HappilyEverGarrett

I loved an article by Sharon Naylor so much I had to create my own version! We know you can’t wait for your wedding day to arrive — envisioning the first time you see your groom, your first kiss after you proclaim your vows and your first dance as husband and wife. Your transition to newlyweds will be filled with more milestone “firsts” that will strengthen your relationship. Here’s how to prepare yourself for all the celebrations (and challenges) that you’ll face together down the road.

1. Your First Epic Fight ➖

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We haven’t really experienced our first epic fight as newlyweds, however we have already established rules around fighting fair. No name calling or being disrespectful with our words, we’re allowed to walk away or hang up to have a moment to calm down not forcing a conversation when it might be intense, and to always sleep in the same bed, even if we have to create a pillow partition or sleep on the mattress seam!!

Why It’s Big

We’re not talking about being snippy, here. This is The First Big Fight, the one where you scream, slam doors, and even throw some plates against the wall. You’re angry, scared, and feel on alone. Fights like these can burst your newlywed bliss bubble — you’re not in wedding fantasyland anymore. You’re in a full-out battle over something trivial, like your husband dumping a skillet into the sink, covered with caked-on scrambled eggs. But it’s not really about the eggs: The fight is about pent-up frustrations, including leftover wedding stress, money fears, and adjusting to living together.

How to Deal

You’ve had arguments before, but you may have noticed that this one felt different; more charged, somehow. Chalk it up to being a learning fight, one where you’re doing the good work of marriage, learning how to argue more productively next time. Avoid red flags (phrases like “you always” and “you never”) and bringing up old points of contention just to weaken your partner. Whatever you do, don’t jump in your car and speed away—testing him to see if he’ll chase you — or launch into round two when he’s on the ropes. That old adage is true: People don’t remember what you said, but they’ll always remember how you made them feel. Just go to your separate spaces, unwind a little, then tell your partner you love him, hate fighting, and you’re sorry if you hurt him.

2. First Time Getting Together With Friends After the Wedding ✔️

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Photo Credit: Magda Rondeau Photography

Were still working on it 🙂

Why It’s Big

You’re back to your normal, non-bridal self. You have more socializing time now, so this is a good time to enhance your personal life (and marriage) by spending time with close friends. Depending on your inner circle, you might have a challenge on your hands if you’re the first one to get married. Pals might not know how to include you in their “going out to flirt” nights, and angry single friends may even resent your happiness. Friendships may shift with this big change in your life — your relationship dynamic may never be the same as it was pre-wedding.

How to Deal

Accept that your marriage might be a strange first for your circle of friends. Some of them may feel their married-by-30-clock ticking, or become bitter that you have “the perfect life.” The truest of friends just need to see that you haven’t completely changed and your happiness isn’t a threat to them. So when you’re invited to girls’ night out, show up, even if you’re tempted to blow it off. If you make time for friends, you show them that they’re still important. Don’t talk nonstop about how amazing your wedding was or tell single friends “your time will come.” Things have been all about you for a while, so make an effort to be a good listener and supporter. This applies to social occasions with your husband’s pals, too: Try to be cheerful, even if you’re nervous. Smiles and compliments go a long way!

 

3. First Major Purchase ✔️

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After a very challenging process with new construction and settlement, We did it!!!

Why It’s Big

Whether it’s a house, car, or remodeling your kitchen, this is the first time you’re pairing up on a big purchase. Your partner may be more acquainted with the details, there’s unexpected information involved, and your credit score/financial standing comes into play. Yikes!

How to Deal

Before you begin a huge project, you both have to be 100 percent open about your financial position — whether or not you can afford this right now, if you have good credit or bad and if you feel like making this investment right now. You might like to charge full-steam ahead with new projects, while your husband may be more slow and methodical. Compromise, and you’ll get a crash course in budgeting, as well as working together towards a shared goal. Although this sounds unpleasant, tasks like painting a room, picking out stainless steel appliances and applying for a variance of property codes can actually be fun. You’re creating a home together, after all. Another perk: You may get to impress your spouse with something he never knew you were good at and vice versa, as life takes you into new adventures.

 

4. First In-Law Issue ➖

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Not Now and Not EVER!  My mother and father-in-love  ❤️

Why It’s Big

In a perfect world, the in-laws can see how awesome you are, but some brides get stuck in a position where their in-laws just don’t like them, or on the flip side, their family just doesn’t like the groom. Maybe it was a bad first impression, they favor your partner’s ex (ouch!) or just have other issues. Whatever the cause, you keep getting hurt by their nasty comments and eye rolling whenever you speak. You want your groom to take your side…or at least defend you. This is one of those toxic tensions you have to deal with right away, before it gets worse.

How to Deal

Your husband is used to his family’s flaws: He’s learned how to tune out Mom’s criticisms, Dad’s elitisms, his sister’s jealousy. And he just wants you to let their comments roll off your back too. If you stand up for yourself when they strike at you, your spouse may get angry with you for being too sensitive, not respecting them, and so on. Avoiding family parties and dinners also won’t work—that’s what mean people want, to divide and conquer. After the conflict clears, explain to him that you want to have a close relationship with his family because they’re important to him and you need his help making that happen. Ask him for shared topics of interest you can use to bond with them and ask if you can say a quick hello when they call to speak with him. They may still act snotty, but he’ll love you for trying! Consider it a gift to him to be cordial when you’re with his family. Even if it takes years, your relationship with them may very well grow…or not. But at least you’ve kept them from driving a wedge between the two of you.

5. First Time You’re Asked, “So When Are You Having a Baby?” ❤️ ✔️

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We have been asked and we just tell them about YaYa and PopPops Baby Nova Jade!

Why It’s Big

Depending on who this comment is from, you’ll have different reactions. If it’s from your best friend, who’s blissed-out with her own newborn, you won’t take offense. If it’s a comment from your great-aunt, who had her first baby when she was 20 years old, it’s just a generational thing. If the comment is from a competitive coworker or sibling, things can get tense pretty quickly.

How to Deal

Think of the baby chatter as them wishing you a happy blessing, and a compliment that this person thinks you’d be great parents. Don’t make it a problem by overreacting to the topic itself, assigning all kinds of pressures and judgments that reflect how you feel about having a baby. It’s a common mistake for newlyweds to interpret too much from these kinds of comments. Just say, “We’re not quite there yet, but you’ll know very soon after we do!” Then, move on to the next subject.

6. First Time Hosting a Dinner Party ✔️

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We love entertaining!  We don’t make a big deal of it. Just show up.

Why It’s Big

This is one of those fantasies of married life that you may have had for years: You and your spouse welcoming wine bottle-toting friends into your home, sitting down at an elegantly-set table by the fireplace, dining and laughing until the wee hours. It’s your first time hosting and using all of those bridal shower and wedding gifts to give your guests a wonderful experience. It might also be your first time making specialty dishes for family and friends.

How to Deal

Just have fun! Don’t ruin it by putting too much pressure on yourself, crying because you couldn’t find anise root at the supermarket or waking up at 3 a.m. to iron the napkins. Expect that some things will go wrong and you’ll just have to adapt. Just keep your first dinner party on the small side (around six to eight guests), so that it doesn’t become an ordeal with rented tables and linens, a larger amount of food to prepare, and the threat of you working all night to keep guests’ drinks and plates filled. A smaller group for your starter dinner party lets you mix, mingle, and enjoy, while also being a fabulous host.

 

7. The First “Flirty Girl”➖

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For all the flirty girls, I get it!!  I find him totally irresistible myself and flirt with him often. If we run into a ‘flirty girl’ it just makes our evening better😜

Why It’s Big

What is it about a man’s wedding ring that attracts random flirty girls? They may try to get your husband’s attention at the supermarket, in a sports bar, or even at a friend’s party, for an ego boost and a little bit of fun. At the start of your marriage, your general insecurity levels will be tested—will you laugh it off since you’re confident he loves you, or are you the type who goes on full alert whenever someone even so much as glances in his general direction? That first flirtation is going to light a fuse, and it could go either way.

How to Deal

The first time a flirty girl comes on to your guy, give him a smile and say, “I can’t blame her. You’re the hottest guy in the room.” That way, you’ve boosted his ego, and the woman in question just did you a favor. Your husband will love that you’re confident in his loyalty to you. Don’t overreact; unless he gives her his number, this is likely just a chatty woman who acts this way towards all men. If she’s a maneater, most guys don’t react to that act anyway, and you can believe that yours didn’t interpret anything by her casual bump into him at the bar. She may have shot you a look afterward, but he didn’t see it, so don’t go ballistic on him. Don’t be that wife: the always-angry one who’s suspicious of every woman in the room, giving the silent treatment in the car or causing a scene when he’s just being polite and engaging in conversation with someone. Insecurity can be a huge turn-off.

8. Establishing Your First Tradition Together➖

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Hmmmmmmm…Not yet but definitely looking forward to it!

Why It’s Big

Traditions are shining moments in a marriage—they give you celebrations to look forward to. Start them now, early on, so that you can carry them out throughout your happily ever after. Teach your kids about traditions and someday you’ll watch them create their own with their spouse, all because of you!

How to Deal

Honor established rituals that were passed down from both of your families (especially holiday-related ones), and create new traditions of your own. Choose two or three traditions to maintain that you’ll both stay enthusiastic about. Your tradition doesn’t have to be something big, like renewing your wedding vows every six months. It could be something small, like choosing a holiday ornament that represents your biggest adventure or goal of the year. Look for anything that you’ll look forward to that represents the two of you.

9. The First Holiday You Split or Host ➖

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We have not done the holiday split or host as The Garrett’s, but were hosting Thanksgiving this year!  Super geeked to have both families together  ❤️

Why It’s Big

When you were engaged, you may have gone to one family’s house for half of a holiday, then the “other side’s” to continue the celebration. Or you may have just gone to your family’s house, while your groom went to his. Now that you’re married, you’ll both face the nervewracking question of where to spend the holidays. Will you take turns, use alternate years, or just invite everyone over to your place? It’s important because there’s a lot of relatives who hold onto family tradition dearly and don’t like change. If your families live very far apart, it can be tough to decide who gets first dibs on major events like Christmas or Hanukkah.

How to Deal

Before you talk to your families about this—they may approach you about it months in advance, to get a jump on the competition—talk with each other about any special circumstances that will help make the decision easier for you. Perhaps a parent or grandparent has an illness, or your brother and his wife just had a baby. One family’s circumstances may make it a no-brainer as to which “side” gets to have you first. Accept the fact that someone might not be happy about changing family tradition, so you might have a Scrooge at your table. Don’t let that overshadow the importance of this being your first married holiday together. If you and your husband decide to host, consider this first year an experiment; you can always switch it up next year. But no matter what you plan with your families, it’s also important to plan something special just for the two of you. Start a new holiday tradition you’ll keep going every year and make your gift exchange really special, so that the last hours of the holiday are blissfully yours together.

10. The First Time You Get Scared by Marriage➖

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Being married hasn’t scared me yet.  I’m not sure if it ever will.  When you feel that you were created to be married and be a wife, it’s like I have already been where I am now. I’m feeling pretty blessed to have met and married the man who is ‘perfect for me’. I pay more attention to living in and enjoying the present❤️

Why It’s Big

You love your spouse, but let’s face it, sometimes marriage can be scary. At some point, when you return back from your honeymoon (and into the real world), it might hit you that you’re finally married. Being someone’s wife comes with lots of responsibilities, potential loss (what if they leave or pass away?) and financial obligations. That first smack of marriage fear can really throw you.

How to Deal

In a great marriage, you feel comfortable saying, “I don’t know what I’d do if I ever lost you.” It shows the depth of the love you share for your partner. Make sure you appreciate each other, have fun together, be kind to one another and continually work at strengthening your marriage. If you find that the panic doesn’t subside over time, and you test your spouse’s love level by picking fights, speak with a qualified, reputable counselor who can help you figure out what’s going on. Negativity and fear can be offshoots of depression or anxiety. It’s always smart to get an expert’s opinion—rather than just confiding in Mom or your best friend—because their opinion isn’t colored by previous experiences with you and your husband. If couple’s counseling is necessary, consider it an investment in your marriage. Tackle your problems head-on and do the smart thing by protecting your relationship (and yourself) against destructive thoughts.

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Easy Ideas for a Beach Themed Bridal Shower

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photo: Magda Rondeau Photography

 

Many destination weddings take place on sandy beaches. It’s romantic, it’s picturesque, and most importantly, it is memorable. Particularly for couples who love the ocean side. For beach loving couples, why not pull out all the stops and throw a beach themed bridal shower as the perfect pre-wedding party?

Planning a beach themed bridal shower is no easy task, but with a little creativity and help from a few co-hosts, anyone can pull it off. Here are some creative ideas to get you started!

Plan Ahead

A theme party requires a bit more planning than a non-themed party. There are more details to consider and pieces to pull together.

Setting the Mood

The ideal venue for a beach theme bridal shower is somewhere with a swimming pool. Decorations are key when you’re trying to recreate a beach atmosphere. One way to bring the beach feel to your poolside venue is by stringing paper lanterns around the pool. This creates a festive mood and serves as soft lighting after sunset.

If you can’t go to the beach, you can still bring the beach to you. Hang netted sacks with seashells and candles, and fill an inflatable wading pool with sand and prop a surfboard inside and set it by the entrance. Pull up some beach chairs for seating and drape colorful beach towels on the chair backs.

Centerpieces can be paper lanterns with votive candles inside surrounded by sand and seashells to carry the theme through. You can also place small fishbowl with fish on every table. This will surely become a conversation piece for the guests.

For even more beach fun, request that guests come in their beach wear! Now it’s a beach party!

Beach Themed Favors

To thank your guests for coming to the bridal shower, party favors are essential. Needless to say, favors should also be beach themed. You can give seashell tea light candles, starfish wine bottle stoppers, or a decorative seashell picture frame. For a great beach themed gift, stuff a straw bag, or beach tote with an embroidered beach towel, some personalized sunscreen and a hand fan. This custom beach kit is sure to be a hit!

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photo Tiffany Chalk Events

Host a Pool Party for Bridesmaids

by Tracy Kunzlerspaday
A bridal luncheon is the traditional way brides thank their bridesmaids for all they do to make the bride’s wedding day special. We’ve all been to them. They are sweet, lovely, well-intentioned occasions that, on a fun scale of 1-10, typically rate a strong “Meh.” You want to do something especially fun and memorable, and you’ve come to the right place! We have a plan for a poolside spa party worthy of all the time and energy bridesmaids spend on the bride that won’t take a ton of your time and energy. With the top five wedding months being May-September, a poolside spa party makes sense. Besides, who wouldn’t choose “relaxed, exfoliated and manicured by the pool” over “dressed-up and bored indoors?” This is also a terrific party to host for tired moms, stressed-out girlfriends and helpful neighbors! Best of all, even though it appears to be “all about the bridesmaids,” as host, you’ll get pampered too! Check out this easy plan for creating a spa oasis for your girls!

Spa Services

At least five to six weeks before your event, you’ll want to start preparations and figure out what spa services you’ll offer at your party so you can book your professionals. Pamper Perfect offers mobile spa parties!  They are fun, sophisticated, and allows you to relax and have fun with your gal pals. Poolside manis, pedis and massages are PERRRRRRRRRFCT for your summer pool party, bridal shower, bachelorette party or girlfriends and/or family gathering.

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Invitation

You can get custom invitations printed through sites like etsy.com, or you can make your own. We love this one we spied on meandmyinsanity.com. You have to admit it has a certain “polish” to it! It’s so cute; your girls are likely to save it as a special keepsake. Be sure to print all your party details on the label like date, time, what services will be provided, and be sure to tell guests to wear their swimsuits. You can find all the how-tos here.

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Set the Scene and the Mood

This party plan offers something appealing to all the senses and offers your busy bridesmaids a chance to slow down and unwind. Just having your party poolside makes for a serene setting. Add to the beauty and serenity of your spa setting with a few “lotus blossoms” floating in the pool. Thanks to water-resistant battery compartments, these beautiful floating lotus flower lights add beauty to your pool both day and night. They’re the perfect compliment to your spa theme.

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Consider having pretty, comfortable robes for your bridesmaids to wear once they enter your “spa.” Pamper Perfect Mobile Spa can provide robes to be rented and worn during the party or order  as a keepsakes for your guests.  Bridesmaids can wear them during the party and again while getting dressed on the big day. For as little as $22 each. Or, if you travel a lot, just take one from each hotel you stay in. Just kidding!

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Be sure to load your iPod or smart phone with soothing, instrumental music or nature sounds and play your selections via a pair of portable speakers or docking station during the party. Many libraries have a selection of CD’s of instrumental music and nature sounds you can check out at no cost.

Light scented candles throughout your spa setting. Put out a few containers of scented body butters for guests to apply to hands and elbows. Place a few fashion magazines around. Take clippings of fresh flowers, large leaves and ornamental grasses from the yard to put in vases. Scatter some pillows on your lounge chairs, and set out a pretty basket of your best towels for guests to use.

Menu

Being that your party will likely occur just days before your bridesmaids will don the bridesmaids’ dresses they’ve had carefully altered, your guests will probably prefer to eat light. (Believe me, I know from experience Spanx can only perform so many miracles!) We recommend a menu made up of small bites your girls can eat one handed as they sip and receive a mani or pedi by the pool. Keeping portions small will allow each guest to try a taste of this and that, leaving them happily satisfied. Here’s a spa-tacular menu that’s easy on waistlines and hosts!

  • Cucumber-mint water – No spa is worth its weight in bath salts if it doesn’t offer the classic spa drink. Simply add sliced cucumber and fresh mint to a pitcher of ice water.
  • Flavored ice tea – It’s also nice to offer a flavored iced tea such as peach or raspberry.
  • A signature drink – By offering one signature cocktail you make by the batch, you’ll save time and money. We like this Skinny Girl-Inspired Sparkling White Sangria from nutrition coach Linda Wagner. It’s a slimmed-down version of a summer favorite that is beautiful to boot.

Skinny Girl-Inspired Sparkling White Sangria Lindawagner.net for the full recipe. Simply add the sliced fruit and mint to the wine and then the stevia until desired sweetness is reached. (Linda recommends an alcohol-free stevia.) Let sit for at least an hour in the fridge to let the flavors infuse. You can also freeze half of the fruit and add right before serving to keep the Sangria cold without diluting the flavor.

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Spa facial cheese ball – We fell in love with this clever and adorable appetizer from Hungry Happenings and are sure your girls will love it, too! Check out the Hungry Happenings website to see what you need!

 

Finger sandwiches – Use favorite sandwich fillings to make finger sandwiches. Consider perennial girl favorites like chicken salad, cucumber and cream cheese and pimento cheese. You can buy prepared chicken salad to save time – Trader Joe’s has several delicious varieties – and prepared pimento cheese as well.

Fresh fruit skewers – make up skewers of fresh fruit guests can nibble on while receiving spa services. Seasonal and favorite fruits like strawberries, watermelon, blueberries, pineapple and cantaloupe make a pretty and delicious combination.

Mini dessert tray – Make up a tray of small favorite desserts like mini éclairs and cream puffs (these disappear any time I serve them), mini lemon bars, and cheesecake bites. I will share my secret recipe for these with you: I buy the cream puffs, éclairs and cheesecake bites in the frozen food section of the grocery store. I buy the lemon bars from the bakery and cut them up into smaller bites. I arrange them on a pretty tray with some fresh mint leaves or a few pansy blossoms. You’re welcome!

When Your Guests Arrive…

Greet them with the drink of their choice, offer them robes to wear over their swimsuits if you choose to provide them, and encourage them to turn off their cell phones or at least set them on vibrate.

Discuss what treatments are available and let the guests rotate through the circuit. While they are waiting their turn to have a mani, pedi or massage, let them enjoy a facial mask you can make up easily and inexpensively. This DIY skin-brightening mask caught our eye. Be sure to have enough ingredients on hand to make up enough for all your guests.

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Ideal bridesmaid gift – Tradition dictates that a bride gives her bridesmaids a thank you gift such as a picture frame, scented candle or a necklace or pair of earrings for the bridesmaids to wear during the wedding. Tradition once dictated that women were not allowed to vote or show their knees. Present your bridesmaids with a unique, nontraditional gift they will cherish using during your spa party and all summer long like a pool float! Your girls will happily think of you and your savvy gift skills each time they peacefully lounge. Picture frames, candles and earrings are really nice, but I can’t nap, lounge, or tan in any of them! Just sayin’!

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Allow guests to rotate through desired service stations and sip and nibble at their leisure. You will have created a spa afternoon so wonderfully Zen, that when the party is over, your bridesmaids will say, “Leave? Namaste right here!”

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Benefits of Hiring Pamper Perfect Mobile Spa

Mobile spa companies offer on-site beauty and relaxation treatments that can be given to an individual or a large group. Often, this company will be utilized to enhance an event by offering guests an opportunity to engage in a beauty treatment on the spot. Although the services offered by the company may differ, they generally offer a variety of services that include massage, manicures and makeup application. In today’s fast-paced workplace and hectic social world, a mobile spa is a welcome source of entertainment at a variety of events that can offer significant benefits to corporate and personal event planners.

Events that Benefit
Pamper Perfect Mobile Spa can be utilized to add an interesting element to any event. Large companies are now beginning to hire mobile spa companies to offer their employees a way to relax in order to increase creativity and production. Smaller companies, such as schools and city services, are beginning to hire a mobile spa company to provide a way to show appreciation to their employees for special events. Smaller events, such as weddings and birthdays, are also a great reason to hire a mobile spa company so that each guest can feel honored to be a part of the special day. For weddings, many brides choose to use a mobile spa to help their wedding party get dressed for the big event.

Services Offered
There are many types of services that are offered. However, facials and massage are the most popular services requested. This is due to the large amount of people who can benefit from the relaxation and pain relief that a treatment can offer. When a person hires a mobile spa for their event, they receive a versatile service that can be tailored to any type of occasion. For example, a mobile spa can create a romantic atmosphere for a couples massage or they can offer employees an outdoor package within a casual environment.

Public Appreciation
When a person chooses to hire a spa for their event, they are able to show their guests that they are appreciated. For this reason, spas are utilized by companies who would like to recognize their employees by providing them with a relaxing incentive. Additionally, mobile spas can be used for bachelorette parties, reunions and other gatherings where a person wants to pamper their guests and make them feel special. When it comes to showing appreciation, there are few better ways than to offer a person a relaxing retreat that provides instant gratification.

Generate Social Media Interest
Any event that has a mobile spa is sure to generate a great deal of social media interest as guests post photos of their spa treatments. This is most beneficial for companies who can maximize their exposure through authentic posts created by satisfied employees and other guests. Because everyone will love to brag about their massage, a brand will receive exposure through each person’s social media page.
The benefits of hiring Pamper Perfect Mobile Spa for an event go much further than one simple beauty treatment. As guests begin to relax, the event will also benefit from a conversational atmosphere that can lead to many wonderful memories. In addition to relaxing, each guest will feel pampered and will generate a positive response that can make any event stand out from the rest. Visit our website at http://www.pamperpeerfectmobilespa.com or call 866-947-9994 to book your Pamper Perfect Experience.

Crafty Bridal Shower Idea-Set Up A Mimosa Bar

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Smarty Had A Party nails it with this crafty bridal shower idea!

Set up a Mimosa Bar!

Whether you are hosting an engagement party, bridal brunch, or a bachelorette weekend, setting up a mimosa bar is simple.  Start with champagne in a bucket of ice, carafes of juice and add bowls of fresh fruit. Don’t just stick with orange juice.  Try pineapple, grapefruit, cran-raspberry, blackberry and mango passion fruit.

It’s sure to be a hit! Cheers🍾

 

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